“It will be a very traditional Christmas, with presents, crackers, doors slamming and people bursting into tears”
– Victoria Wood
“It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas”
– Southern Living magazine
“Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive.”
— Stephen Fry
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know … the birth of Santa”
– Bart Simpson
“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.”
— Victor Borge
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.”
— Shirley Temple
“We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.”
— Elf
“You can’t fool me – there ain’t no Sanity Clause!” — Chico Marx
“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington DC. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”
— Jay Leno
“Christmas tree stands are the work of the devil and they want you dead”
– Bill Bryson
“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.”
— Joan Rivers
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
— George Burns
“Christmas, that annual celebration of parental guilt and juvenile greed.”
— PD James
“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.”
– Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
